sodamnrelatable:

WHERE IS IT OH GOD WHICH ONE IS POSSESSED

CONGRATULIONS,

YOU WON

(via damnthatswhatshesaid)

ufops:

my dad tried to use my sister’s hello kitty shampoo in the shower and he just screamed “hello kitty more like hello sHITTY” 

(Source: heidimomtag, via damnthatswhatshesaid)

steadymobbing:

steadymobbing:

i asked my mom how she met my dad and she said at a college basketball game this guy got distracted and got hit by the ball and got a huge bloody nose and he came up to her after the game and said “i was distracted by you” with like blood all over his face and jersey

so i asked my dad and he said “my friend told me he’d give me 10 bucks if i asked a girl out with my broken nose and she said yes”

(via damnthatswhatshesaid)

internetexplorers:

mom please laugh at my jokes

(via she--is--90210)